[May Misunderstandings
]
An idiomatic phrase, "KY", an abbreviation of "Kuuki wo Yome"
meaning, "Read between the lines of what people say."
Japanese people place a premium on taking a hint when in conversation.
Sensing the atmosphere is often more important than any information that is being exchanged,
and those who fail to grasp the situation are apt to be disliked by others.
This might come from a Japanese emphasis on smooth communication, a harmonious atmosphere and tacit understanding.
Do you pin a negative label on insensitive persons who cannot read the air?
I don't. I know taking a hint sometimes demands very subtle skills and perfect timing.
A few years ago, I was having lunch with friends, and T San began to criticize someone she knew.
C San simply listened, saying, "uh-huh" from time to time. I probably should've done the same thing.
But it was unpleasant, so I mustered up the courage to confront T San.
"I don't like you talking that way, because you are my friend and the woman you are backbiting is my friend too".
She froze at my words, and our lunch time tipped into disaster. She was soon in tears.
I realized later she probably just wanted to release whatever stress she felt at the time
and didn't so much mean what she said, but I couldn't read the air.
I could neither sense the innocence of her feelings nor go with the flow of the conversation at all.
What is the real purpose of "read the air"? It is not as if we should compromise our ethics in order to get along with others.
I understand it as "act like an adult". In any case, my timing was bad.
I should have spoken to her alone after lunch and not confronted her in front of C San. If I had, I wouldn't have ruined our meal.
Luckily, I was able to clear the air later. We are still good friends and sometimes take walks along the riverside.
Once we start chatting, we never run out of things to talk about. The path we always walk is glittering green now.
(Miwa. N)
"Where've all the giant Koinobori Carp gone?"
Until very recently, parents hung up carp streamers outside their houses on May 5th,
a day set aside for what was once called Boy's Festival, but is now called Children's Day.
To celebrate the birth of a baby boy, family and relatives hung these fish-shaped streamers
to wish for the child's health and later success in life. Why carp? Because carp signify bravery and success.
This tradition originated in an ancient Chinese legend in which a carp won a race against other fish
and then transformed into a dragon. Three carp is a symbol of family as well;
the biggest carp streamer is black, the next is red, and the smallest is blue.
They represent father, mother, and male offspring.
We have no boys, and the condo in which we live doesn't allow residents to hang even small streamers
for fear they might fall onto the heads of pedestrians walking below.
All the families here follow this regulation and limit decorating with carps to inside their houses.
Last month, in our mailbox, I found a flyer announcing, "Beat COVID-19 and hang Koinobori carp streamers at Shinonome park!".
The community center in our neighborhood announced that they would collect used carp streamers
and display them in the park through May. One Sunday afternoon, returning from the grocery store,
I passed by the park and carp in various sizes and colors flapping in the strong wind caught my eye.
Looking up at the brightly flying streamers, I remembered that a friend of mine had donated hers for this display.
Honestly, I've been putting up with the stay-home order for months, avoiding any unnecessary errands
and completely quashing family plans.
I hope the mighty carp flying in the face of the pandemic can cheer me up.
(Kazuyo)
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